Shadow of a Doubt
by albatr0ss
Summary: Briarpaw's not your average apprentice. He struggles to meet the standard set for every apprentice - and in this, he ends up working himself to the bone. Working much harder than the others, to prove himself. Prove that his is worthy to be a warrior.
1. World's Biggest Trout

**LEAFCLAN**

**(47 cats)**

**Birchstar - **silver mackerel tabby tom with dark amber eyes

**Squirrelfoot - **thick-haired ginger mackerel tabby tom, plumed tail, with light green eyes

**Mistpelt - **gray she-cat with blue eyes

**WARRIORS:**

**Patchedfang - **white-and-black tom with green eyes

**Whitefur - **large white tom, scar running down left side of face, with green eyes

**Cardinalheart - **red classic tabby tom with dark amber eyes (apprentice is Cedarpaw)

**Redfoot - **red classic tabby she-cat with green eyes

**Rookclaw - **largetuxedo tom, mangled ears, with green eyes (apprentice is Briarpaw)

**Spidertail - **black she-cat with green eyes (apprentice is Pebblepaw)

**Blacknose - **black tom with green eyes (apprentice is Flamepaw)

**Silverwhisker - **silver mackerel tabby tom with green eyes (apprentice is Dawnpaw)

**Stonestorm - **silver mackerel tabby tom, white underbelly and neck, with dark amber eyes

**Palecloud - **cream-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

**Honeyheart - **cream she-cat with amber eyes (apprentice is Nightpaw)

**Shadepelt - **black tom with dark green eyes

**Grayclaw - **gray tom with green eyes (apprentice is Sandpaw)

**Pikestream - **brown mackerel tabby tom with dark brown eyes

**Brackenstripe - **brown mackerel tabby tom with green eyes (apprentice is Lionpaw)

**Ashfang - **gray-and-white tom with yellow eyes (apprentice is Starlingpaw)

**Cinderfoot - **gray-and-white she-cat with green eyes

**Mousestep - **gray-and-white tom with pale amber eyes

**Littlefur - **runt black she-cat, top of right ear cut off, with pale blue eyes

**Darkwhisker - **black tom with green eyes

**Emberstorm - **calico she-cat with blue eyes

**Snowtail - **white tom with green eyes

**Furzeheart - **ginger-and-white tom with green eyes

**APPRENTICES:**

**Briarpaw - **brown mackerel tabby tom with white muzzle and cross-eyed green eyes

**Cedarpaw - **handsomebrown mackerel tabby tom with dark brown eyes

**Pebblepaw - **brown-and-white mackerel tabby she-cat with light blue eyes

**Dawnpaw - **thick-haired cream mackerel tabby she-cat, white neck, paws, and underbelly, black splotch over nose, and plumed tail, with amber eyes

**Flamepaw - **thick-haired cream mackerel tabby tom, white underbelly, plumed tail, and white tailtip, with amber eyes

**Sandpaw - **thick-haired cream mackerel tabby tom, white paws and plumed tail, with light green eyes

**Lionpaw - **thick-haired cream mackerel tabby she-cat, plumed tail, with light green eyes

**Nightpaw - **black tom with green eyes

**Starlingpaw - **black she-cat with green eyes

**QUEENS:**

**Troutflower - **tortoiseshell she-cat with dark green eyes (kits are Toadkit, Maplekit, and Buzzardkit - father is Cardinalheart)

**Smokestripe - **silver mackerel tabby she-cat with dark amber eyes (kits are Rainkit, Stripedkit, and Beetlekit - father is Blacknose)

**Blizzardstorm - **thick-haired white she-cat, plumed tail, with green eyes (expecting - father is Rookclaw)

**ELDERS:**

**Rabbitclaw - **brown-and-white she-cat with green eyes

**Poppypelt - **ginger mackerel tabby she-cat with green eyes

**Stormfang - **long-haired gray mackerel tabby tom with amber eyes.

** FIELDCLAN**

**(? cats)**

**Froststar - **white she-cat with green eye and blue eye

**Sparrowheart - **brown classic tabby tom with brown eyes

**Goosewhisker - **long-haired white tom with green eyes

**Goldenpaw - **cream she-cat, white paws, with light blue eyes

**BAYCLAN**

**(? cats)**

**Shellstar - **long-haired gray tom with one green eye

**Terntail - **tuxedo she-cat with yellow eyes

**Mudcloud - **brown marbled tabby tom with green eyes

**Ospreyflower - **white-and-black she-cat with one brown eye and one green eye

** CHAPTER+ONE;;**

**world's biggest trout**

_The feel of the cool waterfall _spray on his pelt relaxed him, which might have been why he did better at fishing than anything else. And, even then, Briarpaw wasn't particularly good at it. He couldn't focus on where he was looking. He couldn't determine the distance of what he was hunting. He'd always had this subconscious feeling that he couldn't do much to help his Clan. That he was deadweight. This might have very well been true.

Rookclaw watched him intently from a few tail-lengths back. The tom had done much in the ways of mentoring his apprentice; he had faith in Briarpaw. Briarpaw was attentive. Briarpaw was determined. And even better, Briarpaw _listened_. He'd do what Rookclaw told him. But however many times Briarpaw adjusted his crouches and moves to Rookclaw's will, it still wouldn't help that Briarpaw couldn't see right.

A flash of brown scales below the surface of water and Briarpaw shot forward, thinking in the back of his mind that it was farther than what he saw, and moved accordingly, even though he felt like he'd sink his paws into the muddy bottom of the river. A sliver of joy nearly raised the fur along his pelt as he felt his claws penetrate the fish. Underwater, it writhed. With an uncanny grace Briarpaw twisted the fish onto the bank, keeping a tight grip to it, and then snapped its head awkwardly to the side with his strong jaws.

"I did it, Rookclaw! I did it! I caught the fish!" He hadn't been this elated since his apprenticeship.

"Wonderful, Briarpaw. You did swimmingly," his mentor meowed, though Briarpaw was too consumed with his success that the pun flew right past him. Briarpaw turned to look at his mentor, but Rookclaw stayed planted where he was. If he approached Briarpaw from the front, the tom might jerk backward into the water. That'd be a pretty cold surprise, and Rookclaw didn't want to ruin the tom's happiness.

"Can we go back to camp? Can we? I want to tell Emberstorm and Pikestream! Please, Rookclaw?" Before Rookclaw could speak, Briarpaw lifted his green eyes to the sky above; it was past sunhigh, nearing dusk. They'd been training since a little after dawn.

"It's almost sundown, anyway!"

Rookclaw had been going to say yes, anyway. Even if Briarpaw hadn't caught that fish he'd been planning on taking them back to camp. It was the best thing to do, since a visit with Toadkit always cheered Briarpaw up after a failed training session.

"Sure. Get your catch and let's go."

They headed back to camp. Briarpaw was so jittery he stumbled like he'd lost a paw, tripping over jutted roots and bumping his flank into the sides of trees. Briarpaw was still too cheery to let a little bump here-and-there to ruin what he'd done, what he'd _worked so hard _to do for moons, what he'd gotten weeks and weeks after all the other apprentices had it down-pat.

Back at camp, Briarpaw teetered in the clearing, wondering if he should put his prey in the fresh-kill pile or just waltz right up to wherever his parents were and drop it at their paws like an offering to a deity. He nearly tripped over his paws and lost his grip on the fish as he suddenly changed his course to the pile and dropped it, snapping his head up to look around the clearing once more, nostrils flared as he tried to pick their scents out of his other clanmates.

The tabby's eyes spotted his parents sharing tongues under the shade of a willow. He shivered with excitement and nearly shot down after them. But, like any other cat with at least a morsel of understanding for their defect, he knew his. And just as any child he knew with a sharp pang of sadness that his mother was embarrassed. Embarrassed of her cross-eyed son.

Forcing himself to put a leash on his emotions, Briarpaw carefully paced up to them, praying to StarClan that he didn't take a tumble. Pikestream looked up from licking down the fur between Emberstorm's ears when he heard his son, taking deliberate and careful steps up to them. The sparkle in the apprentice's eyes was glaring like the sun, so Pikestream pulled away from his mate and sat up, cocking his head everso slightly to the side.

"What's the matter, Briar-"

Making himself walk instead of catapault across the clearing was the extent of his self-control. He interrupted his father, kneading at the ground with his paws.

"I caught a fish! I caught a fish!" Though, it sounded more like: 'IcaughtafishIcaughtafish!' His eyes flickered from his brown tabby dad to his calico mom, craving acceptance and praise more than he did actual success.

Pikestream's eyes widened, and Emberstorm looked up, mildly interested. "You _did? _Oh, wow, Briarpaw! Good job!" His dad meowed, stepping forward slowly (though Briarpaw still twitched as he neared) and rubbed his head against the side of Briarpaw's face, a deep purr rumbling in his throat.

Like all fathers, Pikestream understood that Emberstorm had trouble accepting her son.

He turned to her. "Isn't that wonderful, Emberstorm? Briarpaw's first big fish catch!"

Briarpaw watched Emberstorm closely, feeling as though spiders were crawling into his fur, legs scratching at his skin.

"That is. Good job."

Warmth flooded through Briarpaw, heating his ears and heart. He couldn't help to purr like his dad.

"What do you say we eat with Briarpaw, hmm?" Pikestream flicked his brown eyes to the calico warrior, and she nodded (or, that's what Briarpaw wanted to think - it was more as though she shrugged). Briarpaw stepped from one paw to the other, purring contentedly, feeling like he ruled the world as he settled down with his parents. Pikestream had suggested to Emberstorm that they share the fish that Briarpaw had caught.

Briarpaw himself settled for a little shrew. He was too thrilled to feel like he could eat a lot, and he didn't want to waste LeafClan's prey - it was nearing leafbare and they wanted to preserve as much as they could. Though prey didn't preserve past a day or two (and two was risking it).

It was nighttime now, and Pikestream was grooming Briarpaw's pelt. Emberstorm was dozing off. A small black she-cat padded up to them, whiskers twitching, clearing her pelt when the two warriors didn't look up at her right away.

"Pikestream, Emberstorm," Littlefur addressed, "you two are joining my moonrise border patrol."

Briarpaw felt a little letdown at the thought of his parents leaving. The kit in him had wanted to curl up with the two and fall asleep. They were warriors, though. They had things to take care of.

Pikestream gave his son one last lick on the side of the face and then stood up, Emberstorm following suit. "Sleep well, Briarpaw," his dad meowed as he usually did just before Briarpaw went to sleep. Briarpaw nodded at his father, watching as Littlefur led them to the rest of her patrol. They headed out and Briarpaw was still sitting where his parents had left him.

"Briarpaw! Briarpaw!" Just as Littlefur's patrol stepped out of camp, another one squeezed in. Briarpaw looked up, heart thumping as a flash of cream fur settled into his memory - but it was his sister's voice. Pebblepaw scrambled across the camp, galloping toward Briarpaw who instinctively turned his head to the side and stared at the ground as she bounded up to his side, purring delightedly.

"Hey, Pebblepaw," he purred right back, rubbing heads with his sister.

"Pikestream said you'd caught something _big! _ What did you catch?"

"Something _gigantic,_" Briarpaw corrected, puffing out his chest boastfully, "I think it was a trout."

"A _trout?_ Wow, Briarpaw! You're going to be the best fisher in LeafClan before you know it!"

She meant for it to be a compliment, but it stung Briarpaw. He _knew _he'd never be good at hunting or fighting. He brushed it off, though. No need to be hypersensitive. It'd just put more of a burden on his clanmates, and he definitely didn't want that.

"And you know what?" He meowed, eyes gleaming, "Pikestream and Emberstorm shared it together."

"It must've been pretty great, then!" Pebblepaw mewed, just as jubilant as her brother. She started to lick him on the muzzle when she lurched, a realization sparking through her pale blue eyes. "Oh, mousedung. I forgot Spidertail told me to help the elders with their ticks once I got into camp. I'll see you tomorrow, Briarpaw."

She leaned forward and licked him on the muzzle like she had been intending to, and then turned and ran off to the elders' den, tail lashing behind her. Briarpaw turned around, wondering dimly if Cedarpaw knew that he'd caught his first "big" fish. He shook the thought off. He didn't like to think about his brother.

In his dreams, he caught a mountain of carps, basses, and salmon, the Clan appointed him leader, and StarClan gave him as many lives as there were stars in Silverpelt.

**woo-hoo, i'm able to write again, and about something i enjoy! i'm currently working on chapter four. **

**anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this. read&review, please. (:**

**and wow there's a shitload of cats in leafclan. i guess that's pretty normal for cats. **

**erin's not that great at portraying what cats do, now is she? lol;;**


	2. Meeting With Toadkit

**CHAPTER+TWO;;**

**meeting with toadkit**

_He was getting a short break _since Rookclaw was visiting with his mate, Blizzardstorm. The two had decided to go hunting before the she-cat was incapable, due to her being pregnant with Rookclaw's first litter of kits. Briarpaw usually used his freetime to hang out with a little tortoiseshell kitten, Toadkit. She was intelligent, funny, and sweet. Not only that, Briarpaw felt a keen kinship with her. She was bullied and pestered by her denmates because of something that wasn't her fault. Just like Briarpaw.

Because of his frequent visits with Toadkit, he'd come to form a bond with the medicine cat, Mistpelt, as well. Each day he'd find himself pouring over the brim with anticipation to see them. This time, when he came to the medicine cat's den, Maplekit was there. She was Toadkit's sister, and she had taken a liking to herbs. Briarpaw hoped Mistpelt chose Maplekit as her apprentice; he couldn't think of any other cat that would do better than she would.

"Oh, hi Briarpaw!" Toadkit mewed from where she was curled up in her (did he really think that? That the nest in Mistpelt's den - the _medicine cat's den _- was Toadkit's?) nest. She smelled like herbs. Like catnip and honey, and other things that Briarpaw couldn't put a name to. He purred happily, brushing his head against hers.

From beside Mistpelt, Maplekit perked up, ears straight and whiskers jittering. "Briarpaw!" Maplekit meowed, demanding the tom's attention. He turned around obediently, though his tail was tapping at Toadkit's paw. The tempation of the tail is always a fun game as a kit; she swatted at it with unsheathed paws and Briarpaw let out a humored whimper. A cough rattled through Toadkit as she laughed.

"Yes, Maplekit?"

"Mistpelt said she's gonna let me give juniper leaves to Toadkit! She says it's gonna help with 'er cough, right, Mistpelt?"

He could hear Mistpelt's purring as she nodded her head, looking down on Maplekit with a loving gaze. He found himself wishing Emberstorm would look at him like that.

Toadkit coughed again. "I bet it will, Maplekit," she mewled, "'specially if Mistpelt's tellin' you. You should be medicine cat one day!"

Maplekit tipped her head to the side as if that thought had never before occured to her. "Medicine cat?" She tested the words on her tongue, righting her head and then padding over to Toadkit, toucing noses with her. "Well, I guess I can try if you want me to."

It took all of his being not to crumble right where he was. The relationship between Toadkit and Maplekit was a tender and sweet one. _Maybe Maplekit only wants to know about herbs so she can help Toadkit, _he thought, watching as Maplekit pawed back to Mistpelt where the gray she-cat was showing the kit which herbs were going to be administered to Toadkit. It was a lot of herbs.

Toadkit was four moons old. She'd always had troubles with her throat and breathing. Her home was practically bound to the medicine cat's den; sometimes Briarpaw thought of Mistpelt as Toadkit's mother rather than Troutflower. The herbs had helped Toadkit a little at first, but now it was becoming a waste. One day Mistpelt had let the idea slip of not giving Toadkit anything, since it wasn't making any difference. That day had also been the first time Briarpaw had been openly angry - _furious_, even - with a medicine cat.

He'd managed to change Mistpelt's mind, though.

Briarpaw sat off to the side as he watched Mistpelt and Maplekit walk over to Toadkit. Mistpelt dropped the leaves at Maplekit's paws and told her to chew them into a chunky poultice, which Maplekit did without so much as a flicker of her eyes. She spat up the poultice by Toadkit, pulling back. She'd probably seen Mistpelt do this numerous times.

The taste of herbs didn't so much as faze Toadkit anymore. She licked the poultice up and her bright green eyes widened. She jumped to her paws and stretched luxuriously, a purr rippling through her. Maplekit watched, fascinated, eyes opening slowly.

"Wow, wow, wow, Maplekit, I feel so much better," her words were a wheeze - Briarpaw could tell she was struggling not to cough or sneeze or let the wheeze come through, "I'm going to be better in no time at all!"

Like Briarpaw had been the day before, Maplekit was overflowing with ecstasy. She looked over at Mistpelt.

"Mistpelt! I'm going to fix Toadkit! Look, she's feeling so much better!"

Maplekit turned her head before she could see Mistpelt's nod and purr, and she bounded up to her sister, thunking her to her flank, though Toadkit kept her footing. The sisters brushed up against each other. Briarpaw met Mistpelt's gaze and the two smiled. Maplekit really believed that she could cure Toadkit's sickness.

"Got a magic touch for herbs, don't you?" He meowed padding up to them, "A natural -leaf, if I do say so myself, Maplekit."

She wriggled under his praise, purring happily.

"You really think so, Briarpaw?"

"I really do!"

He leaned forward to rub Maplekit on the head but came just short, rubbing the air between them. Maplekit broke away from her sister and closed that gap that Briarpaw had misjudged. She was ready to say something when the sound of pawsteps broke their attention.

"Hey, Briarpaw."

His heart skipped a beat and he turned around, eyes bulbous. A cream-and-white she-cat stood at the entrance of the medicine cat's den. Her amber eyes were on him.

"Stop fooling around. You're needed for training."

If it was her telling him... that meant she'd probably be training with him! Briarpaw didn't know if that was good or bad. On the upperpaw, he'd be spending time with her, which he always wanted to do... but on the lowerpaw... she'd see how horrible he was at, well, _everything._

"Okay, Dawnpaw," he breathed, watching her as she left.

"Fiesty, isn't she?" Mistpelt meowed from behind him. "You better leave, Briarpaw. I can take care of these two just fine on my own."

He nodded, giving the two kits licks on their heads before padding out of the den. The leaf-fall sun glared down at him and he flexed, spreading his paws out before him, trying to calm the butterflies that stormed in his stomach.

_... training with Dawnpaw!_

**probably the shortest chapter i've ever written. lol**

**the next two chapters are a _lot _longer though. and i'm making a plot for this. introductory chapters are the hardest ;b;**

**have any questions? just pm me (:**

**reviews are appreciated. chapter 3 will be up tomorrow~**


	3. Dawnpaw's Tongue of Thunder

**CHAPTER+THREE;;**

**dawnpaw's tongue of thunder**

(and flamepaw's hunger for ears)

_They were waiting for him by _the camp entrance; Dawnpaw, Flamepaw, Nightpaw, and their mentors. Briarpaw stopped just short of being in their tight-packed circle, but Rookclaw drew attention away from that. It was a subtle difference, though. Briarpaw himself hadn't even noticed, but that evil glint in Flamepaw's eyes told him something was a tad off.

"You guys will be going over fighting moves today," Rookclaw informed, meeting the apprentices' gazes, "every couple of sparring battles, you will change to a different partner-"

"We _know that _already, Rookclaw," Nightpaw interrupted impatiently, green eyes narrowed. "Any kit can figure that one out!"

"_Nightpaw._" Honeyheart snapped, grimacing at her rambunctious apprentice. Rookclaw dismissed it without so much as a word.

Briarpaw, of course, didn't know how the multi-apprentice battle trainings went. This would be his first time doing so. Nightpaw's petty retort had hurt him a little, since he _didn't _have an idea of what was going on, but since it wasn't directed at him and it wasn't that big of a deal, he could forget it. He shuffled uncomfortably, daring a glance at Dawnpaw. She was watching Rookclaw attentively.

"Keep your claws _sheathed, _apprentices," and as he said this, Rookclaw let his eyes linger over Flamepaw and Nightpaw, "this is just training."

Done with his lecturing, Rookclaw padded up next to the other mentors, talking in hushed voices with Honeyheart, Blacknose, and Silverwhisker.

Flamepaw scoffed, falling in step beside Nightpaw, glaring ahead at the mentors. "He's a mousebrain. Any _smart _cat would know training's worthless if it isn't practiced like a _real battle!_"

Briarpaw droned them out, barely listening to Nightpaw's inevitable agreement, searching yet again for that beautiful cream tabby pelt amongst theirs. He wished Dawnpaw had been beside him, to speak with him, but she wasn't - she was trailing just behind Silverwhisker, head up and tail nearly brushing against the grass.

He hung his head, feeling like a loner, though somewhat grateful that Flamepaw's anger was directed toward Rookclaw and not him. He'd been at the receiving end of Flamepaw's wrath more times than he could care to count, so he followed silently, trying desperately not to stumble into something and gain their unwanted attention, keeping his eyes peeled ahead as he always had to do, otherwise he'd misstep on the ground that either looked too close or millions of foxlengths away.

The training grounds were nearly at the edge of the territory, which seems like a dumb act at first. But, no cat could argue that the training grounds were situated on the best territory for just that - _training. _It was beside the river, where the trees were starting to fan out and disperse. A few foxlengths away from LeafClan's training grounds was the border between them and BayClan, which were by the ocean. The faint smell of the sea and river mixed here. A smell that Briarpaw had always favored.

There was a lot of space to train and patches of soft sand and dirt. The river bubbled softly. If one concentrated over these sounds, they would be able to hear the gentle crash of waves against the seashore, many and many foxlengths away. The patrol situated in the center of the training grounds, right on a big patch of dirt. Even in this, Briarpaw could feel little grains of sand under his paws. Not many trees could grow without the natural forest soil, so that's probably why there weren't many near the edge of their territory. Briarpaw nodded smugly, amused with his fast-thinking. No apprentice could compete-

"Alright, are you all ready to train?" Honeyheart meowed, looking over them, smiling broadly. "I'm going to assign the first partners, alright?"

She nodded to Flamepaw. "You'll be training with your sister, Dawnpaw. Nightpaw," she looked at him, "you're with Briarpaw."

Nightpaw groaned, though Briarpaw was unsure as to why. He was there to train, and so was Briarpaw. Did he really think he wouldn't have to train with him? He had said any kit could figure the training routine out. Briarpaw was beginning to suspect that Nightpaw had a whole hive of bees in his brain. _If he has one... _he thought, forcing himself not to glare at the other apprentice. Who was probably glaring at him.

The sets of apprentice put a distance between their training areas. Silverwhisker and Blacknose padded over to where Dawnpaw and Flamepaw were, while Honeyheart and Rookclaw padded to Briarpaw and Nightpaw.

He faced the black apprentice, a cold shiver running up his spine as he looked. "Try not to stumble, crossed-eyes." Nightpaw meowed breezily. Neither mentors spoke up, but when Briarpaw looked frantically to Rookclaw, the tuxedo-pelted tom nodded his head. _Swipe those bees out of that mousedung's brain, _Briarpaw read into it, and nodded back, keeping a laugh from escaping his muzzle. He looked back to Nightpaw, confident.

"Start." Rookclaw meowed - though it sounded more like a gruff growl.

The two circled, round and round, not breaking eye contact. The fur along Briarpaw's spine was ruffled up, his ears folded back, green eyes narrowed to tiny slits. He kept Rookclaw's frequent advice locked up at the back of his mind; _Don't let your emotions get the better of you, Briarpaw. _They had said. He didn't know if he could do it. All of those bitter remarks came flooding back to him. He wondered if Nightpaw would make the first move-

Forgetting about his disability, Briarpaw charged forward, paws out, carefully sheathed, like Rookclaw had warned. Nightpaw's eyes widened; he hadn't been expecting Briarpaw to make the first move. Briarpaw nearly grinned, but a heartbeat before he thought it would, he made contact with Nightpaw. He nearly lost track of himself, falling to the side - which would have put him at a serious disadvantage.

They were tossed to the side, and Briarpaw kicked at Nightpaw's belly with his hind legs, nipping gingerly at the sides of the apprentice's neck, though he wanted so bad to leave a mark. Taste Nightpaw's blood on his tongue. Nightpaw let out a shrill caterwaul and pawed right back, writhing and twisting until finally the two broke apart, going back to that circling-motion, standing on the very tips of their toes, never looking away.

"Foxdung," Nightpaw hissed, just under his breath, loud enough for Briarpaw to just hear. Maybe the mentors did, to, because just out of Briarpaw's vision Rookclaw tautened and Honeyheart's ears flattened against her head.

He didn't respond. He'd lose his concentration and his confidence. He'd probably lose a lot of blood later on, if he did; Nightpaw and Flamepaw would surely have it out for him. In fact, he'd probably be best to not win any of the three matches he would have against the tom.

But the thought of Emberstorm's twinkling blue eyes when he told her that he'd beaten Nightpaw three times out of three made him nearly squeal with glee.

Maybe just trying to get one wouldn't harm anything. Nightpaw'd get the majority of it, anyway. If Briarpaw _could _win one, that was.

Another caterwaul cut into his thoughts and Briarpaw froze, wincing violently backward as Nightpaw flung at him, paws slapping against his shoulders and hindlegs walloping into his stomch. _Do it for Emberstorm you crowfeed! Do it or _else_!_

Fueled with determination and pure desire, Briarpaw struggled with Nightpaw, hissing right into the tom's face. Nightpaw stiffened, glaring into Briarpaw's eyes just before the tabby headbutted him to the chest and then broke free. Briarpaw thought they'd go back to the circling formation, but Nightpaw charged again. Briarpaw could practically smell the anger in the air.

_That wasn't such a good idea-_

Teeth caressed the fur along his neck and Briarpaw felt a growl rumbling deep in his throat; he twisted, slamming his hindlegs into Nightpaw's stomach, debating whether or not he should just call the apprentice out right there, right now. But no, he wouldn't. Too many bad ideas in one day would lead to a series of unfortunate events - something of which Briarpaw could _seriously _live without. One more heave and Nightpaw was pushed off him.

Feeling the whole world pause, Briarpaw quickly approached him, nearly foundering over Nightpaw's body as he misjudged depth and distance _yet again_, but he didn't. Triumphantly, Briarpaw put one single paw almost too tenderly atop Nightpaw's flank than he had been thinking of. He'd kept a firm reign over his emotions. He was proud. And he won a round he could tell Emberstorm about, even if he didn't win all of them. At least he knew Pikestream and Pebblepaw would be glad for him. Rookclaw, too.

He met Rookclaw's gaze again, stepping away from Nightpaw so the apprentice could stand up and brush the grass, dirt, and bits of sand out of his pelt. The black-and-white tom nodded once again. _You may not have gotten the whole hive out, but I think I saw a few bees buzzing away, _Briarpaw read, and chuckled, which resulted in Nightpaw jerking his head up to glower at him. Briarpaw nodded right back at his mentor, seriously proud of himself.

Just as he had predicted, Briarpaw _failed _at the other two rounds with Nightpaw. Nightpaw had been really enraged, though, since he had seriously underestimated Briarpaw. Briarpaw, who, in the last two rounds of their duel, had nearly sprained his paw stumbling and floundering about like a fish out of water. Nightpaw had snickered at him, eyes glinting maliciously. _See what happens when you act out? Better learn your place, crossed-eyes._

His next session, though, oh no...

Honeyheart and Blacknose squared off with Nightpaw and Flamepaw, who looked like they were about to goof off rather than take their training seriously (both of whom who had been so readily able to scorn their mentors for not taking their battle training intently enough). Briarpaw soon forgot about those mousebrains though, as he was facing Dawnpaw in her ultimate beauty, feeling her amber eyes scorch down on him like little orbs of fire.

They circled. Briarpaw felt like he'd swallowed a whole river of sand, and in his stomach, those grains of sand had birthed frantic, fluttering butterflies who tried to crawl up his throat and out his mouth. Could Dawnpaw see it? Could Dawnpaw sense how he felt? He hoped not...

Lost in his thoughts, he'd taken a tumble, _tripping over his own paws. _He felt his face burning as he tried to regain his balance but a heavy force dropped down on him and suddenly he was closer to Dawnpaw than he had ever imagined himself being, glancing into her sparking amber eyes for one moment and kicking at her stomach the very next, though he honestly didn't want to struggle against her.

He pushed her off. Or, rather, they both pushed away, because when Briarpaw was circling again he could feel an imprint of her hindpaws on his stomach. _Don't trip again, you stumbling newborn kit! She'll never even glance your way if you don't win, at least once! _ Like with Nightpaw. Just once and you'll be able to say you defeated her. Defeated him. For Emberstorm, Briarpaw guessed. It wouldn't be a lie if he just left out the part where it was a three-out-of-three duel, in which he won one and failed like all clumsy mousebrains do.

He jumped forward, thinking maybe he had caught Dawnpaw off guard, but she had met him equally all the same. Her head was definitely in the game. Focused and eager to win. She was ambitious, competitive... strong... Briarpaw tripped her up, hitting his hindleg against her own and twisting her to the ground. _Hurry, Briarpaw, just once! Once!_

His paw was on her flank and his chests were heaving, and one fleeting thought crossed his mind: _Toadkit._

"Get _off _me, you mousebrained klutz!" Dawnpaw shrieked, rolling out from under Briarpaw's paw, sitting up and licking the fur on her chest flat. She met his gaze narrowed, and growled. "You won't win against me _ever again._"

And she was right. Dawnpaw _flattened _Briarpaw in the next to rounds, rebounding just as Nightpaw had. Either that or Briarpaw lost his fighting muse and determination. At least he could say he won once... at least he could say he won once...

Facing Flamepaw though, and he felt as though winning one time against this ferocious tabby would be completely impossible. He was already a nervous wreck from fighting Dawnpaw, anyway. There was just no way-

"Start!" Blacknose hissed, green eyes glinting in the filtered sunlight. It was already past sunhigh.

"Ready to lose, Bumblefoot?" Flamepaw growled under his breath, amber eyes (those of which seemed to have the fiery passion that his sister had) piercing into Briarpaw's, fangs barred. "I won't let you win. Not like those mousebrains did."

He didn't cower under Flamepaw's eyes. Not while he was being watched. He would hold his ground. Briarpaw tried to imagine Emberstorm watching him steadily, eyes keen for any tiny mistake he would make. _Bumblefoot._ He sure hoped Birchstar would never get the strange urge to change his name to _that_.

The other apprentice sprung, and Briarpaw braced himself, body stiffening, paws itching to swipe at Flamepaw. The apprentice latched onto him, rolling and snapping jaws (of course, do not draw blood) through the dirt and bits of grass. Briarpaw felt himself slipping out of the winning zone every heartbeat Flamepaw was batting at him, so he scored the apprentice's underbelly with his hindlegs and jumped back, tearing out of his grasp, but Flamepaw did the leap-again. This time, Briarpaw ducked, and Flamepaw just so happened to be snapping his jaws up and down like a rabid dog.

He swallowed the cry of "ouch!", wanting to seem tough to the mentors and Dawnpaw if she happened to be watching, done with her battling against Nightpaw.

Flamepaw's teeth sunk into the side of Briarpaw's right ear, tearing out a nick that reminded Briarpaw temporarily of Littlefur, and how she was missing the entire tip of one of her ears-

"Stop! Stop it!"

The smell of blood reached Briarpaw's nose and for a moment he was absolutely confused. The pain, though, it was sharp but not instantaneous; it welled up just as Rookclaw cried out for them to stop what they were doing, stop it right now!

Flamepaw pulled back, glaring at Briarpaw like it was his fault, and he turned around to watch as the two mentors padded up to them. Flamepaw didn't falter even once as Rookclaw's burning gaze settled over him. Briarpaw was still somewhat confused, wondering if he looked like Littlefur.

"Nice going, Eareater," Dawnpaw spoke up almost quietly from where she was waiting beside Silverwhisker, who hushed her. _Yep, _Briarpaw thought, _she's done with her battling. I wonder if she won...? And she spoke up for me! _

He almost laughed, but he wasn't stupid.

"What did we tell you all?" Rookclaw growled, ready to lecture Flamepaw and assign him to punishment when Blacknose "nose'd" in, eyes carrying the same violence that seemed to be ablaze in Flamepaw's and Nightpaw's.

"_Excuse _me, Rookclaw," the tom growled, never breaking his gaze from Rookclaw's, "but I can take care of my apprentice just fine."

Rookclaw looked as if he might argue, his pelt bristling, green eyes narrowed to slants, the faint trace of a sneer on his muzzle. Finally, Rookclaw pulled away.

"Sure. But this training session is over."

Blacknose watched his brother steadily as the large tuxedo tom padded up to Briarpaw, who shivered at the look of malice in his eyes. Briarpaw sure hoped he'd never be in a relationship like that with Cedarpaw.

Rookclaw leaned forward and sniffed at Briarpaw's bit ear. "Come on, let's get Mistpelt to treat that. Don't want it to get infected."

Briarpaw nodded, turning around, thinking at the back of his mind that Blacknose would most definitely not take care of his apprentice, and that Rookclaw might just visit with Birchstar if he was angry enough. Well, at least he'd get to see Toadkit again, if she was there.

**ahh still no reviews! i guess this story's not that great then. i'm sill going to update it, though, as it's easy to write and distracts me pretty freakin well. **

**i would appreciate a review though! (:**

**the plot will show up soon, no worries. i hope i can execute it the right way. **

**hope you all enjoyed! (if anyone's reading!)**


	4. Grumpier Than the Grumpiest Grump

**CHAPTER+FOUR;;**

**grumpier than the grumpiest grump**

_"You've got to eat, Stormfang," a_ brown-and-white she-cat meowed, her green eyes level with the long-haired gray tom's; they expressed that of a complicated love, and Briarpaw would have never doubted that she loved Stormfang, loved him more than he would be willing to love her, if he were capable. Rabbitclaw wore herself thin worrying about Stormfang. Poppypelt spent a lot of her time reassuring Rabbitclaw of Stormfang.

Briarpaw pawed through the ginger she-cat's pelt, watching the other two elders every few heartbeats, picking ticks as he went. Mistpelt had recently dowsed the three of them with mousebile, so he didn't have to work around fleas. He didn't mind helping them, either; even if it took him a while to latch on to a tick, he was careful to never bite the elders. It was one of the few things that he could do without being snapped at. Or embarrassed of.

"I'll eat when I want to." The tom grumbled, curling up in a tight ball, the tip of his very bushy tail touching his nose. Rabbitclaw looked at him with an intense disdain glittering in her eyes. Briarpaw felt a pang of sadness for her. She really did try to help Stormfang. She really did. But Mistpelt had said the tom was really unhappy, all of the time. She said she would do everything she could, but herbs could only do so much to help mental problems.

Under all of that fur, he was a thin tom. One would probably be able to see his bones if it weren't for the fur in the way.

Rabbitclaw let out a huff, eyes dropping to her paws as she thought. Briarpaw pulled a tick off Poppypelt's fur and she winced, though when she spoke it wasn't to - or against - him.

"Just let him rest, Rabbitclaw," she rasped, head turned to look at Rabbitclaw.

Rabbitclaw shook her head, now looking back at him, wondering what had happened to the tom she had spent most of her elder-age with. She could only wonder and wonder, day-by-day, why he was in this horrible condition. Another sigh, and she turned and padded out of the den. Where he was lying, Stormfang curled up tighter. Briarpaw thought he could feel the melancholy rolling off him like waves.

"Elders..." Poppypelt spoke, hanging her head, "Who knew that there'd be drama even in retirement."

Stormfang's ear twitched.

Briarpaw pulled back, having reached the tip of Poppypelt's tail. She'd be able to reach the ticks on her belly; elders weren't helpless, obviously, but they did have sore muscles and couldn't stretch as far as the younguns.

Rabbitclaw appeared at the entrance before Briarpaw could announce he was finished, holding a mouse in her jaws. She padded right up to where Stormfang was trying to fall asleep and dropped the mouse next to his face. His nostrils flared and then he sat right up, muscles cracking, a pained expression passing his elderly face.

"_Eat it._" She meowed, never looking away from his sharp eyes.

"I told you," he hissed, "I'm not hungry."

"If you don't eat, you'll die!"

"So be it!"

Rabbitclaw faltered, eyes widening, a shock seeming to flow down her pelt that made the hair on it rise. Stormfang stared at her indignantly, a snarl on his face. He watched her as she turned and left the den, not coming back. He stared at the entrance where she had left. Slowly, his angry eyes became sad ones. The despairing look on his face was so intense Briarpaw had to look away.

"Are you done?" Poppypelt asked, sounding exhausted.

He nodded. "All clear."

"Go ahead and get the ticks out of Stormfang's pelt. If he hollers, just get Mistpelt and she'll set 'em straight."

He didn't know if he wanted to mess with Stormfang, but he did it anyway. The other apprentices usually were too busy doing actual training to mess with the elders. He volunteered to do it, most of the time, but he always shied away from Stormfang, who scared the pelt off him. There was something about the tom that unnerved him. The look in his eyes, perhaps.

Luckily, Stormfang complied, sitting up, almost groaning as he moved. He always complained about his body aching, all the time, no matter what he did or how he lay. Briarpaw picked through the back of his pelt, extra-careful with him, as anything could set the tom off. He wondered briefly how the ticks on his underbelly would be taking care of, but then realized that Rabbitclaw would probably get them for the tom. She'd probably do anything for Stormfang.

"I used to pick ticks too, when I was an apprentice," the voice that spoke alarmed Briarpaw. It was so mild-mannered compared to Stormfang's usual tone of voice that Briarpaw looked around the den, wondering who had spoken to him. Briarpaw's blurry vision settled on the elder again, wondering why the tom was speaking to him. Stormfang preferred to keep quiet. He liked to brood in peace.

"I hated it. You must hate it too." He said it as though it didn't particularly matter. It was just like stating a fact. Like, _oh, well, the sky is blue today. Again._

"No, I don't," Briarpaw meowed - much louder than he normally did, as the elders were hard-of-hearing. He felt nervous, speaking out to Stormfang like this. Stormfang _abhored _being wrong about something. But Briarpaw really didn't want the elder to think that he hated spending time with him and the other elders. "I actually enjoy it. Elders are... nicer, I guess." _Well, not you, anyway._

It was true, in a way. Not one single elder had ever made fun or even _mentioned _that Briarpaw was cross-eyed. He appreciated that.

"Nicer?" Stormfang harrumphed, as if he doubted that Briarpaw was telling the truth. "A brown-noser, aren't you."

_No, no! Please don't try to argue with me! _ Briarpaw thought, letting a crunched tick roll of his tongue into the growing pile of other crunched ticks. After all of them were gone, Mistpelt would soak the elders in mousebile again, to be sure all of the fleas were gone. And she thought it might help with the ticks. Briarpaw hoped Mistpelt would let Maplekit watch.

"No, I'm not trying to do that. No elder has ever said anything about my eyes."

There was a hesitation to Stormfang, the time in which Briarpaw silently picked away at his ticks, nearing the bottom of his pelt, almost to his tail.

"Probably can't see 'em," he spoke out of the blue, so suddenly that Briarpaw had forgotten what they had been speaking about. He remembered, and felt a chuckle rise in his throat. It emitted, and he felt a blush on his face. Stormfang might think he was laughing at him. If he did, Stormfang might just turn right around and slash Briarpaw on the face. Briarpaw cowered, ears flattening against his head.

"Oh, cool down, Briarpaw," Poppypelt spoke from the other side of the den. Briarpaw had assumed she was sleeping. "Stormfang may be a grumpy ol' cat, but he sure isn't humorless."

"Thanks, Poppypelt," Stormfang mumbled. He didn't sound very thankful, though.

Briarpaw reached the tip of Stormfang's tail and announced that he was done. He felt relief, but he also wanted to stay around longer. If he was lucky, Poppypelt would start talking about her past. Sometimes Stormfang would chime in, and if Rabbitclaw were here, she would be sure to do so. They had such interesting stories.

"I guess I should eat this mouse," Briarpaw flicked his ear, barely hearing the elder's near-silent whisper. The skinny long-haired tom picked the mouse up gingerly in his mouth and started to eat, slowly. Agonizingly slow.

"You'd better apologize to Rabbitclaw, too," Poppypelt meowed, watching as Stormfang ate. "She's the only one you've got left. If you don't count me, that is."

He didn't respond.

Briarpaw sat quietly, wondering where Rookclaw was and if he'd need him. It was nearing sundown already, so Briarpaw could imagine that there was nothing left for them to do. Before he started helping the elders, they had practiced fighting more (just him and Rookclaw). Briarpaw's vision and reaction time were still too poor for him to be able to be any good at it. Some warrior he was going to make.

He cast one last glance at Stormfang, seeing that despair settle in once again. He left the den without a word, padding out into the busy camp clearing. Potrals formed, left, and came back, cats gathered around the fresh-kill pile to eat, mates and friends shared tongues under the shade of the trees. Briarpaw's ear pricked to the side as he heard pawsteps coming from his right. He assumed it was Rabbitclaw, returning to apologize to Stormfang. Who in turn might apologize back.

But it wasn't.

"You made a good opponent the other day."

His heart froze, and he turned around, green eyes wide. Dawnpaw stood there, fresh as a daisy, a faint smile on her muzzle. _She must be in a good mood._

"T-thanks, you too," Briarpaw meowed, watching as her eyes trailed up. He wondered what she was looking at.

"It looks like your ear is getting better."

"It's nothing."

Dawnpaw looked back to him, a sudden fierceness coursing through her, lighting her amber eyes. She twitched her whiskers, sniffing. "I just wanted to say sorry for Flamepaw. He's a mousebrain. All of the time."

It seemed like she wanted to ask something else. Briarpaw could swear his heart was beating a hundred times per second by now, blood rushing in his ears.

The cream tabby held his gaze for a heartbeat longer, and then looked away. There was a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Have you seen Cedarpaw?"

_Oh. She didn't want to apologize at all. She just can't find my brother. Figures._

Grimly, Briarpaw shook his head, now severely disinterested in speaking with her. Though he still liked her - a lot, admittedly - but the thought of his brother, who was more handsome than him, more talented than him, made his stomach churn and a feeling, a white-hot, blazing feeling, rise in the pits of his mind. Dawnpaw seemed to sense this, and backed off.

"No, I haven't. I've been busy. Probably on a patrol."

"Right." Her meow was edged with harshness - that, and anger. How _dare _someone shake her off just like that. Especially after she apologized!

He didn't look at her, just padded off, headed for the apprentices' den. He hadn't been paying attention to his pawsteps and he stumbled, probably right in front of her. He gained his balance and foundered again, but caught himself, that hot feeling in his face replaced with the sensation of a thousand pins and needles poking into his pelt.

_Cedarpaw always has to outshine me, _he thought, grimacing as he padded into the apprentices' den. There were no apprentices in there, yet.

He curled up in his nest. The sun wasn't even down. But he doubted he'd be able to sleep, anyway.

_Outshined._

**i'll be starting school tomorrow, so SoaD won't be updated every day. **

**thank you for the review, fernblaze. it is very appreciated. (:**

**next chapter will have a little bit of a plot device in it. i apologize for things moving slowly lol**


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